Friday, May 26, 2006

My One and Only Road Rage Incident

This happened a few years ago:

Every single day I take the Massachusetts Turnpike to work and every single day I pay the same toll at the same exit. Most of the time I even give the money to the same guy at the same booth. For years and years I see the same people, make the same small talk.

So this one day I pull up to my regular guy and discover I can't find my ticket (this was before those transponder thingies) He informs me that without the ticket I'll have to pay the maximum toll.

My response:
"Dude, I drive this road every day and every day I give you the same amount of money...you know who I am"

His response:
"Sorry, those are the rules"

At this point the road rage starts. I start screaming at him! I try getting out of my car to strangle him but can't because my car door keeps hitting the tollbooth! And I'm so stupid I keep slamming the car into the tollbooth as if by doing it harder I'll be free of my car and ready to choke. I'm furious! I'm stuck in my car, horns are honking all around me, and the douchebag in the booth needs death. I'm not even close to rational at this point. I start taking all the change in my car and just start throwing it at him...empty water bottles, magazines, newspapers, umbrellas....anything not tied down I'm chucking at him. Finally I just drive off, beet red and shaking.

By the time I get home I'm calm and wicked embarrassed. I decide to phone the tollbooth to say I'm sorry. Have you ever phoned a tollbooth? It aint easy. I get a hold of Jay's supervisor and tell him the story. He already knows it and appreciates my call and tells me he'll pass it on to Jay.

Now keep in mind I still have to drive to work everyday, but I'm WAY too embarrassed and start going a different way every day so I won't have to run into Jay.

A year or two goes by and I finally say the heck with and go back to my regular route. And guess who is the very first tollbooth guy I get?

Nope, not Jay.

I get Jay the second day and we both just start cracking up and rehashing the incident. I think I place all the blame on my wife or mistress.

He understands.
And almost everyday he gives me a knowing nod and smile.

Someday I'm gonna lose my ticket again...I hope I get Jay.

There is no moral to this story.

3 comments:

Cake said...

It does too have a moral:

Never pull in so close to a tollbooth that you can't open your car door when you find it necessary to kill the tollbooth guy.

Cake said...

Whoops, sorry, forgot you were listening.

A new moral, just for you:

If you're going to have a case of road rage, it's important to have someone to blame it on.

Better?

Clinky said...

"It's Kill or be Kicked!"