Friday, October 27, 2006

WARNING! WARNING! Not Funny Alert!

Things always work out for me. Good seats at concerts. The last piece of cake. Refunds from insurance companies. All sorts of small things just seem to go my way. Wifey thinks I'm lucky. It aint luck. Things just work out somehow.

So anyhow...two years ago I get a phone call that my Mom might be dying and to get to the hospital. I hang up the phone and in walks Bacon Ace who runs the store for me while I rush off to the hospital. (Would I have closed the store if he didn't show up?) I get to the hospital, meet my brother there, and then find out Mom died about ten minutes before. Possibly the most horrible thing thats ever happened to me. Me and Bro decide to go straight to the funeral home and make the arrangements, tie up all loose ends, and then go home.

I'm at home. My Mom just died. And I'm sitting there. And I'm watching TV. The Red Sox. The fourth game of the 2004 World Series. And they win. The Boston Red Sox WIN the World Series a couple of hours after my Mom dies. The Boston Red Sox. I'm jumping for joy on the day my Mom dies. I run to a friends house in the neighborhood and toast the Red Sox. On the day my Mom dies. It's very strange. I've loved the Red Sox more than any 'thing' in my life and they go and win the World Series on October 27, 2004. The day Mom died.

Like I said...things work out for me in some weird way. How can I relate something as trivial as the Red Sox winning to my Mom's death? The Red Sox winning wasn't trivial. It was awesome. And Moms death was horrible. They just happened on the same day.

It's actually kinda cool. When I think of that glorious moment of Foulke getting the ball and tossing it to Minky at first...I think of Mom. And when I think of Mom...I think of the Red Sox. I'm sure there is some hidden goofy metaphor about life and death and stuff that I could prattle on about, but there aint. My Mom died and the Red Sox won the World Series two years ago today.

I miss those 2004 Red Sox. And I miss my Mom.

(I hope next October some relative I don't like dies and the Red Sox win again.)

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear NoOprah:

You're right, that's not funny. It's a sad coincidence. And if the Red Sox had to win a series, I'm glad it happened on a day when it could at least lighten the sting of your mother's death.

Actually, a few years before, I was dating a Red Sox fan. We went to Fenway, and naturally I wore my usual blue cap with the interlocking NY.

She and I were, of course, subjected to all appropriate abuse. Then I stood up and said, "You all should be nicer to us. This is Calvin Schiraldi's little sister."

Now THAT was funny. Until I lost an eye.

-- Lamont Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

You wore a NY hat?

Did you vomit in your mouth as you put it on?

My Mom would have hated you.

(kidding)

Anonymous said...

Kidding?

KIDDING???

You're going soft on us. Maybe you are an Oprah after all.

-- Lamont "26 Championships and Counting, Baby" Cranston

P.S. Any time you really miss the 2004 Sox, hop a train and come on down to New York. We've got Pedro, Damon...

We'll leave the light on for you.

Lois Lane said...

NoOprah,

You haven't met Lamont. I have. Trust me. Your mom would have hated him.

Kidding. I kid. I'm a kidder. That's what I do.

"I'm an Oprah, You're an Oprah, She's an Oprah, He's an Oprah, wouldn't you want to be an Oprah too..."

Seriously, I bet your mom was looking down and smiling as the Sox won that day.

Today, though, she probably thinks you communicate with a lot of weirdos online...

Anonymous said...

Lois:

Shouldn't that be "I'm a Kidder"?

And... lots of people's moms hate me. It's part of my charm.

Motheragawd: For us, the defining image of the 2004 ALCS was Pedro Martinez rushing off the mound and assaulting 80-year-old Don Zimmer -- and the way Zimmer pushed Martinez to the ground, stood on his neck and laughed.

We tried pinning dollars on Zimmer when he came back to New York, but he kept eating them.

-- Lamont Cranston

Anonymous said...

Lois:

Shouldn't that be "I'm a Kidder"?

And... lots of people's moms hate me. It's part of my charm.

Motheragawd: For us, the defining image of the 2004 ALCS was Pedro Martinez rushing off the mound and assaulting 80-year-old Don Zimmer -- and the way Zimmer pushed Martinez to the ground, stood on his neck and laughed.

We tried pinning dollars on Zimmer when he came back to New York, but he kept eating them.

-- Lamont Cranston

I Ain't No Oprah said...

I love when NY'ers bring up '26 championships'....Yeah, in what century was that?

Yankees fans really do smell bad. It's true. It's like bad eggs only worse.

Cake said...

Wonderful post, NoOprah...I'm smiling in a sort of sad way. Funny how things work out sometimes, isn't it?

Oh, and who let the Yankee fan in here?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

It's a quota system.

Peter N said...

Talk about sadness AND euphoria on the same day! I read your comment at SG and came right here...and left you a comment back at SG. So well said...take care...the Cardinals will end this mess today, and Leyland NOT starting KR. Fatal error? That's what I wrote about this morning..take care..this post really got to me. My Dad never made it to that glorious 2004 night.
http://peteronall.blogspot.com/ Thanks, Peter

I Ain't No Oprah said...

We also loved when Fisk beat the crap out of Thurmon Munson.

And fiddled with the fuel line of his plane.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

And when Tek kicked the crap out of A-Rod.

And fiddled with the fuel line on his plane.

Anonymous said...

Motheragawd:

Yeah, when you've been to the postseason as often as we have, they do tend to run together. 2003, 2004, whatever. I was wondering when somebody was going to pick up on that.

And NoOprah: Thurmon Munson fuel line jokes? That's just...

all right, I laughed out loud at that. And I was the first one to make the Corey Lidle jokes, too. But it was still sick. Only in the best way, though.

-- Lamont Cranston

Sparkle Plenty said...

Baseball
Didn't Stan Lee win the 2004 World Series? I'm pretty sure he did.

Mom
Here's to her.

Apple Pie
I hear that McDonald's is good.

Chevrolet
I have always liked the Bel Air best.

Anonymous said...

//Mom. Here's to her.//

Here's to her what?

-- Lamont Cranston

Sparkle Plenty said...

Just "Here's to her." If you like, you may accompany that with a traditional "lifting a mug of beer in tribute" gesture. But, it's an air mug of beer. Don't try to drink it, or you will get hiccups. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

who are these "red socks" you're talking about??

Cake said...

"Here's to her what?"

Here's to her son for starting a funny blog and giving me an outlet for all the nonsense that would otherwise be directed at my poor co-workers.

::raises a glass of red-air-wine::
::drains glass in one sip::
::gets the hiccups::

Damn.

Bemisdown said...

Nice tribute to your mom Mr. No. I can't imagine a day when one of the most terrible things and one of the most wonderful things to me personally happened simultaneously.

That said....The Red Sox winning the World Series didn't change my life at all...Not even sure if I was watching when they made the winning touchdown.

Cake said...

Bemisdown:

Well, at least you've been to Fenway Park...you'll earn some brownie points back for that.

What? Oooooh right!

Never mind.

Bemisdown said...

Cake,

I just need some good directions.

And then I'll hold up a sign saying "I'M AT FENWAY PARK!"

And I'll holler like a crazed fan whenever the Red Sox get a goal.